Patrick!
Hello Darling,
“From Me to You” is a unique story about a guy who describes the death of his Cousin Debbie’s husband, Albert, and the effect this loss has on her and the rest of his family on Thanksgiving. The narrator recounts the marriage of Debbie and Albert, and tells how he tries to console Debbie while the rest of the family tries to adjust to the situation during this holiday. The central conflict for the narrator is knowing how to handle being there for his cousin through her suffering.
There are a lot of elements I really enjoyed about this story. First, I love the details about the dinner and the menudo soup. I could smell/taste it and I don’t even know what it is. The meal was a nice backdrop and it added to the tone/mood of your story. I also really like how you’ve integrated mexican culture in as well. It makes the Thanksgiving more interesting and adds personality to the family. I like the details about the wedding and the pueblo-style architecture. I also really like the image of Debbie putting her greyed wedding dress back on, sitting at the table, and the smelly menudo dribbling out of her mouth. Very sad, thanks. :)
As far as suggestions go I’m not entirely sure the character changes by the end of the story. The story is more about Debbie and her struggle and the narrator feeling her pain. I want to see him go through more of a significant change by the end. Is the change when he looks in the mirror at himself and wonders if he’ll ever go back to his old self?Also, there were some points where I wanted to see less summary and more in depth details about why Debbie and the narrator are so close. I like the idea of the story being about cousins because it’s unconventional but I want to know why he is the closest to her in the family, or that’s the way it seems, and I would like to see even a couple more scenes of them interacting with one another in the past. Instead of comforting her over the death for the majority.
Overall, job well done Patrick!
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