Shelby,
So I really like this short short story. I feel like it’s simply about the comfort of the narrator’s mother checking on her child later in the night after initially tucking her in and turning on a movie or the TV. The narrator is conditioned to her mother coming back into the room, turning off the TV, and being quiet so that she doesn’t wake her. But, we know that the narrator can’t go to sleep unless this happens. However, on this particular night the narrator doesn’t struggle to stay awake to wait up on her mother, and instead she wakes after her mother has left the room and she then can’t go back to sleep so she turns the TV on. I took this as possibly the narrator is getting older and she’s less dependent on her mom.
I like the simplicity of this story. The perfume, the concept of tucking in, the childhood innocence, and the way the TV is integrated into the piece. It seems familiar to me and I think it’s very relatable to my own childhood. I like the nostalgic tone; it seems to be less nostalgic of childhood and more reminiscent of the mother’s role in the child’s life. I could be reading too much into it. This story made me yawn, but in a good way. :) You capture sleepiness really well, as well as security. I enjoyed the description of the mother’s lavender vanilla scent and cool hands, the narrator’s heavy eyelids, the TV being cut off and the room plunging into darkness. These were all working for me.
As far as suggestions go I’d like to know why the narrator didn’t stay up and wait for the mother like the other nights. Why didn’t she fight sleep that night since she tells us it was her favorite part of the day? The ending is interesting and I wanted to know a little more as to why it happened. She turns back on the TV because she realizes her mother has already been in her room and that comforts her. So, what is this supposed to say about the relationship between the mother and child now? I’m looking forward to discussing this story.
Overall, good job, Shelby!
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