Response to "Vacation from Boyhood" by Cole Stuart

      “Vacation from Boyhood” is a story about two geeky guys (the narrator and Connor) who have been friends since kindergarten. They go off to college and maintain and strengthen their friendship by communicating via Facebook about various topics, but more importantly reflect on their experiences together as kids. The two eventually plan one final adventure and decide to go on a “manly” weekend trip to an ice fishing cabin in Wisconsin. However, as the story progresses the narrator reveals how their goofy boyishness gets in the way of having that “manly” wilderness experience one may expect. For instance, the fire wood was already chopped (which was fortunate and humorous considering he fails at his attempt to chop a piece), Connor forgets to open the flu to the chimney, and they get sidetracked by the idea of watching the meteor shower, which finally results in burning the cabin down.
    I love the idea of guys trying to be more masculine than they naturally are. There were certain parts of the story I found really humorous. I enjoyed the “manly” banter in the truck on the way to the cabin. The line, “I hardly slept last night because I was up late watching Vin Diesel movies,” made me laugh. I also liked the idea of attempting to use a map for directions, but then giving up and plugging in the GPS.
    One suggestion I feel like would strengthen the story would be to cut out some of the back story of the guys’ friendship-- you could show more about your characters in certain scenes and within the dialog rather than telling readers “how animated and loud the guys get when planning something that could lead to excitement.” I want to know more specific details about who they are and what exactly makes them "idea men."
    I wanted to see more dialog between the guys like the conversation in the truck. I liked the witticism “I’m really strong,” because it stuck out more to me than the drier dialog. It shows more about the narrator’s sense of humor and tone of the guys’ relationship. Overall, I wanted to know more in depth details about the characters rather than focusing so heavily on the reassurance of the narrator’s manliness.
    I felt the narrator’s voice suited a guy maybe in his later years of high school rather than college, but the narrator states that “they were so in college.” At that point I took them to be sort of naive or nerdy guys. Furthermore, later in the story the guys buy beer, which would mean they must be 21 or older. This made parts of the story less believable for me, because I didn’t feel the characters’ voices entirely matched their age.
    Overall, I really enjoyed the story. I especially appreciated the goofy humor--I want to see more of it! The last line was really effective, because I wasn’t really expecting it.
Good Job!